1. Family is important
I know that there is a time in everybody's life where you think your family is mostly annoying and you can't wait to finally move out. But you'll learn that there is no such thing as a family and your mom wanting to know where you are or where you're going just means she cares for you, not controlling you. Even when everything changes your family stays and sometimes a simple 'be careful' or 'drive safely' means 'I love you'.
2. It is okay not to know where you are going
Even though I'm 21 I still haven't quite figured out where I want to go with my life and I recently realised that this is perfectly normal. You're still growing up and change is good. Maybe you'll understand that what you're studying is not right for you and that you have to change your field and you may struggle with it, but even though it seems daunting, it needs to be done. Especially when it seems like you're friends have life figured out, you don't have to - take your chances and do what is best for you.
3. Say no to things
You should say yes as often as possible, but it is completely fine to say no to certain things. Say no to a new trend if you don't like it, say no to people you don't need in your life, etc.
4. You will lose contact with people, and it is okay
I noticed that drastically after graduation. People you've seen on a daily basis become not so relevant a few years later. And it is perfectly okay. Sometimes everything that is holding two people together is seeing them on a daily basis. It was around the time after graduation that I knew who my true friends are and although we might not talk 24/7 I know that I can count on them and reverse and we'll always find time for each other.
5. Be the friend you want to have
Times might be difficult and you will struggle with your life, but there is no better thing than being able to tell your friends who will help you through this. Be the same when your friends struggle, listen to their problems and try to help them, even if they're telling you the same thing again again, sometimes all you have to do is listen and comfort them. Your true friends will happily return the favour.
6. It is okay not to be in a relationship
Your friends all have boy or girlfriends and you are the only single person in your group, that can be daunting and your self esteems can drop to the ground. Are you not as attractive/nice/funny etc. as your friends? That's not true and deep down you know it, but it can feel like it at times. Go out, meet new people and have fun, because that's what being single should be! Maybe the 'right one' will be at the club you've been going to for years, or at the bus station, or maybe he or she will just be the 'next one' which is perfectly fine as well.
7. Work for it
There are many things that won't fall into your lap and you'll have to work for it. But if you really want them, you'll have to make a real effort. It can be exhausting and you'll want to give up, but working towards what you really want makes you stronger and you're going to appreciate it even more in the end.
8. You're allowed to get drunk - even sloppy drunk
There is nothing bad about going out, partying and getting drunk now and then. When you're 21 you will most likely know your drinking limits, but you're allowed to throw them out of the window occasionally. Being sloppy drunk is usually not pretty but sometimes all you'll need. Don't hurt anyone while being drunk, just dance, sing Backstreet Boys from your heart and have fun. Going out won't make you a bad person! I had a phase where I was in a club every Friday or Saturday and my weekend was planned Monday morning. That is totally fine and acceptable, just as well as saying no to alcohol or staying at home.
9. Take chances and risks
There will be times in your life where you have to risk a lot of stuff for something you really want deep down. Take them, it will make your life better! It might be moving to a different city for uni, or studying abroad or changing what you want to do with your life and it can be frightening but you will be happier after you took the step. I did an internship in Cape Verde for three months last year and was terrified, it was my first time living alone and in a country I barely speak the language of. And even though some bad things happened there, I wouldn't want to miss it and I am incredibly happy I did it.
10. Love yourself
I believe this speaks for itself. Everyone has flaws and nobody is perfect, but accept your imperfectness and emphasize what is great about you!
What are some things you've learned throughout your life? Or do you have advise you would give to your younger self? I would love to read then in the comments.
Love, Juley
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